Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Download My Noise

The live podcast I ‘guested’ on is now available to download from iTunes and listen to on the Soundcloud.

You can now take the noise of my vocals anywhere you wish, alongside those of Richard Sandling, Tiernan Douieb and – at one point – my lovely lady Jessica Taylor.

Photographic evidence of this / my alibi for those burglaries is below:

I talk about films, writing, commissioning work and Dearly Beheaded, deliver some hilarious bread-based film puns and ‘act’ out four of my favourite scenes from movies, including Little Miss Sunshine and Children of Men

Plug in.
Or cry.
Or both.
Possibly go insane.
Maybe eat your headphones.
Hopefully enjoy?

Check it out here:

iTunes – via The Geekatorium podcast

Monday, 15 September 2014

Richard Sandling’s Perfect Movie Podcast

Last week (Wednesday, to be precise) I was a guest on Richard Sandling’s Perfect Movie Podcast, where I talked about writing and chose (and ‘acted out’) my favourite start, end and middle scenes from films.

Hosted in the Betsey Trotwood pub in Farringdon, the intimate downstairs venue was waaaay too cool and trendy for a writer like me, but I styled it out with my pint of Diet Pepsi, which I then accidentally kicked over on stage… 

Smooth. Like a cactus. On a hedgehog. In a sandpaper shop.


It was fantastic fun. Not only did I get to catch up with Mr Sandling and chat about writing and films, I also got to catch up with stand-up comedian and all-round awesome guy Tiernan Douieb, who I went to University with. He did an excellent film-based stand-up set, which he apparently wrote that day… The man’s got talent, y’all.

The podcast will be available online via the Soundcloud (of doom) soon – I’ll post a link to it here – but it’ll be the cut-down, slick, edited version. You missed out on all the ‘witty’ banter we had with the audience. And the occasional kicking over of soft drinks.

It was bizarre sitting on stage being myself. I’ve acted before – a lot – on stage, but actually being me (and talking about me) in front of people was a unique and strange experience.

I really enjoyed it, although I feel I only got to say about 10% of what I wanted to / could’ve done. The time exploded by and I bumbled down a thousand tangents, probably offending everyone I know and many I don't. You’ll see what I mean when you hear it. Well, you’ll hear what I mean when you hear it…

I’d like to thank Richard – thanks Richard! – for having me on as a guest. It was a pleasure and an honour. A plonour, to be precise.

Having heard all the previous podcasts and experienced the ‘live show’, I can confirm the live show is definitely worth the journey and the fiver entrance fee. Such a good laugh and bags of fun. The audience were all ace – and really generous (not a single one of them threw an egg at my balls, which is testament to their kindness).

You can get a sneak preview (in full… so more a sneak entire show) of the show on YouTube now – check it out HERE

You can’t download it though. Sorry. Not until it lands on the soundcloud. I’ll let you know when!

The previous podcasts are still available from the soundcloud and well worth a listen. Very funny and genuinely interesting stuff. Check them out HERE

The next ‘edition’ of Richard Sandling’s Perfect Movie Podcast is on Wednesday 24 September at 19:30 and features Nick Helm and Matthew Highton.

Go get some fun.

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Script Angel Top 5

Great news (for me, anyway…)

I made it to the Top 5 of the Script Angel LSF Competition!

Having entered with the first 10 pages of Strapped, I have now delivered the full script for their reading ‘pleasure’.

The judges are a phenomenal (and slightly imposing!) bunch of industry stalwarts, experts and – basically – freakin’ cool people to have read your script.

For prosperity’s sake I’ve copy and pasted the full list here!

Claire Ingham
Executive Producer, Company Pictures
Claire executive produced  Inspector George Gently, the final  Wild At Heart and  Moonfleet for Company Pictures, having previously been Head of Development at Impossible Pictures where she worked across a slate of international shows including  Primeval and  Frankenstein.

Heidi Thomas
Heidi is an award-winning screenwriter most known for creating the smash-hit BBC1 drama Call the Midwife which she also executive produces. She’s also currently working on a feature film adaptation of The Buccaneers for Ruby Films and Middlemarch for Focus Films.

Ben Worsfield
Development Producer, Lucky Giant
Ben recently produced the BBC Radio 4 comedy show Richard Marsh: Love and Sweets which won Best Scripted Comedy at the BBC Audio Drama awards as well as Homeboys, a television studio sitcom pilot for BBC Comedy.

James Cary
James co-created the BBC3 hit comedy series  Bluestone 42 and previously wrote on BBC1 hit comedy  Miranda and  Miranda Hart’s Jokeshop for BBC Radio 2.
christine-glover-morrisChristine Glover, Literary Agent, Blake Friedmann
Christine joined Blake Friedmann literary agency in 2012 having previously been Head of Media at AP Watt.

Priscilla Parish
Development Producer, World Productions
Priscilla script edited the second series of Jed Mercurio’s hit BBC2 drama  Line of Duty and previously worked at Working Title TV and Fremantle Media.

Sam Hoyle
Head of Development, Imaginary Friends
Sam script edited the first series of ITV’s BAFTA-winning  Broadchurch and is currently working with Chris Chibnall to develop the second series.

Kristin Irving
Development Executive, Cascade Media Development
Kristin manages the Cascade Writers’ Couch, an initiative to find and support unrepresented writers. She previously worked in development and production at the Oscar-winning production company Portobello Pictures.

Louise Ortega
Head of Development, Vertigo Films
Louise is responsible for the development slate at Vertigo Films whose feature film successes include  Streetdance, Monsters from director Gareth Edwards and  London to Brighton from Paul Andrew Williams.

Hayley Mckenzie
Script Editor & Founder of Script Angel
Hayley’s script editing credits include the indie feature film hit  Papadopoulos & Sons,  Blue Murder for ITV1,  Casualty for BBC1 and  Hollyoaks for Channel Four. She was previously Development Executive for ITV Drama.

Phew. An exhaustingly awesome list of awesome.

Even if I don’t win it’ll be an honour just to have my script read by these people.

The winner will be announced on Thursday 2nd October.

Commiserations to those who didn’t make it to this stage (keep writing, that’s all we can do) and good luck to the other members of the Top 5:

Darren Barker
Eben Skilleter
Jon Tilley
Lorren Boniface

Until then… let’s go write something awesome.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Richard Sandling’s Perfect Movie

On Wednesday 10th September (this Wednesday!) I will be a guest on Richard Sandling’s Perfect Movie Podcast – LIVE!

That’s right, a live podcast!

This is being recorded at The Betsey Trotwood pub in Clerkenwell, London and will feature some excellent hosting from Mister Sandling and some (undoubtedly) hilarious stand-up from the superb Tiernan Douieb.

More info on Facebook here:

I will be talking about my writing, films and also revealing – and ‘performing’, apparently – my favourite beginning scene, end scene and two middle scenes of movies that I love and / or have made a huge impact on me.

What movies? What scenes? No spoilers here. Get down to the Betsey Trotwood on Wednesday and find out live!

The podcast will be available to download too – for free – a week or so afterwards, so I’ll post details of that when it’s ready.

Check out the previous podcasts HERE – they’re really bloody funny.

To BOOK TICKETS (you know you want to) to the event, go here:

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Script Angel - Shortlist Announced

Check this out:


Have you come back to this Blog yet?


Still reading that other webpage?


Still reading?


Yeah… I probably should’ve put the link at the end of this Blog post.

You back yet?



I’ll do a crossword.


*opens paper*

Here we go –

13 Letters: “overwhelmed with shock, surprise, wonder”


Let me see.

13 letters.

Something to do with shock?



No, that’s only 11 letters and not actually a word.


Oh, you’re back?!

Hello again!

Now you’ve read the news, it’s probably got less impact on here now, but I’ve been shortlisted for the Script Angel LSF Screenwriting Contest, along with 19 other awesome writer-folk!


I mentioned something about hope on this Blog on Monday, and this really gives me a boost. Commiserations to those who didn’t make it, but – trust me – I’ve been there. Many times. But you will get there. I just did, so just keep entering!

Script Angel will announce the top 5 Finalists next Thursday 11th September, with the winner announced on Thursday 2nd October.


Now, I’m not just utterly surprised, excited and amazed... 

... I’m also ‘13 Letters’.

Yep, I’m f*cking flabbergasted.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

The Kidnap

Last Thursday I did a read-through of my American action-comedy script THE KIDNAP.

That’s the same Kidnap I entered into Shore Scripts on Sunday, and was previously known as Bitchnapped and previously-previously known as “that unplanned script that took seven months to write”.

I completed Draft 1 a few weeks ago and committed to my usual read-through with the awesome (and massively patient) Jessica Taylor, who once again had to dance her vocals over my ridiculous dialogue.

Changes were made post-reading and I sent the latest draft over to my agent Ed, to see if it had any potential or was just a giant waste of pointless words.

He and his colleagues read it (damn quickly) and fed back, with some really good points and a lot of easily-missed spelling / grammatical faux pas. A dodgy opening, a saggy second act and a serial killer subplot that probably should be cut… these are a few of my favourite things. To DELETE.

Once I’d made the suggested amends (and more), I decided to do ANOTHER read-through to ensure it still flowed right.

This time I enlisted the help of some actory thesp people I’ve known for a long time. I roped in Kitty Chapman, David Puckridge and Chris Millward (who all starred in my short film 6th Sense) to lend their beautiful voices to my script. Towards the end, we were also joined by Chris’s lovely lady Leanne, who added some excellent Mexican accents to the mix. And died a lot. Sorry!

I split the characters up, bought everyone ‘appreciation drinks’ and smashed through the read-through.

Now, I’m not going to do my usual spiel, advocating read-throughs to everyone until I implode. I’ve written about this too many times and can’t be bothered to press CTRL C and CTRL V.

The read-through was excellent – really good to hear how other people interpret the dialogue, the characters and what the actors found amusing, confusing or shit. It was great to have a group read-through a script too.

Overall, it was fantastically positive. Whether it was because of the free alcohol or the script itself, everyone seemed to enjoy it, which is positive news.

Then made some necessary edits on Friday / Saturday, before entering Shore Scripts and sending it to Ed for additional feedback etc…

So, what is the plan for this script once it’s ready?

Simple: send it out to the magical – and insane – world of Los Angeles.

For now, I’m awaiting feedback from Ed / the team at Linda Seifert Management.

Thanks again to Jess, Kitty, Dave, Chris and Leanne for helping me with this – you all rock.

Monday, 1 September 2014

Hope Jar

Last month I added two more projects to the Hope Jar.

Hope Jar?

Yeah, the goddamn Hope Jar.

Not an actual jar, but more a metaphorical, psychological and metaphysical container that holds the subconscious type of hope.

Like the opposite of a Swear Jar or Jar Jar Binks, the Hope Jar is actually a good thing and not something you want to smash against a brick wall until it shatters into a thousand pieces.

I’ve mentioned it before on this Blog, but the power of entering competitions cannot be underestimated. For a writer they can give you something that – often – is absent from our lives. Good old HOPE.

In August I entered 2 x competitions, both at the last minute.

1 – Shore Scripts screenwriting competition
2 – The Script Angel competition via The London Screenwriters’ Festival

Shore Scripts is a great little screenwriting competition, featuring some decent prizes. The LATE deadline was on Sunday 31st August… which is when I entered.

What did I enter?

Action-comedy feature script THE KIDNAP. I’d literally finished Draft 2 the same day, so – full of beans – thought it’d be good idea to enter a competition with it.

Maybe it was? I guess I’ll find out…

The quarter finalists are announced on October 1st and the Top 5 announced on October 17th (and the ‘order’ of the winning 5 announced on November 14th).

This ensures I at least have something keeping that hope jar humming.

For more details on this, check out their website - http://www.shorescripts.com/

Script Angel is a very different beast, and unlike any other screenwriting competition out there.

The grand prize is £2,500 worth of free script editing advice and mentoring from professional TV and Feature Film Script Editor Hayley McKenzie (Script Angel), which is an awesome idea and a great prize.

The deadline was on August 21st… which is when I entered.

I sent in the first 10 pages + a 2 page pitch of my darkly-comic TV series STRAPPED, which I developed through the Channel 4 screenwriting course in 2013. I’ve always felt it has potential, but I need someone like Hayley to look at it and mould it into something better and – essentially - more sellable.

Unlike Shore Scripts, I won’t have this piece of hope in the jar for long – they announce the Top 20 entrants this week! Top 5 announced Mid-September and the winner announced on Thursday 2nd October.

But all hope is good hope, right? Unless you hope I get eaten by goats. That's not the kind of hope we support here...

For more on Script Angel, check out the website - http://www.scriptangel.com/


That’s it.

Wanky-sounding, new age, imaginary Hope Jar filled.

As always, I’ll post the results on here.

Hopefully they’ll be positive.